The Beauty of Imbalance

I'm breaking out, I'm on my period for the second time this month, I can't do inversions because of that and inversions are my favorite, the girl sitting next to me brought pretzel thins for a snack and chews with her mouth open, I have a headache, I ate like crap this weekend, I barely went to any yoga classes this week, I'm losing my connection, I'm out of balance.

It was a rough weekend.

But it is still life.  This is still my yoga.  But it's not beautiful, backbendy, blissed out yoga.  It is like utkatasana (chair pose): uncomfortable, difficult, and it lasts longer than I ever think necessary.

I like backbending bliss so much better.

But these times in our life are part of the natural flow of energy, ebbing and flowing and dancing around (albeit sloppily) to create our reality.  My challenge isn't to do another arm balance or to go deeper into a hip opener, my challenge is the hard stuff.  The poses you hate the most are the ones you should do the most because you need them.  We need to connect with this seemingly negative energy because it has so much to teach us.

I had a shitty weekend.  But I learned how I handle it, I learned I'm strong enough to get through it, I learned that there is enough of the good to overshadow the bad if I really look for it.  I learned that what hurts is beautiful, just as beautiful as what feels good.

During our anatomy lecture recently we were discussing scoliosis (when the spine curves at varying degrees causing postural problems and, when very severe, health issues.)  No one wants to have a health problem or a hunchback.  No yoga teacher wants to have a disrupted practice because their spine won't allow them the same range of motion on both sides.  Scoliosis seemingly sucks.  But our teacher stopped mid-lecture and said how she always found scoliosis kind of beautiful.  Look how much your body will adjust for you so you can face the world straight on.  You may be imbalanced, but your body makes it work, it finds a way, it moves you so that you can still stand.

Imbalance is incredibly beautiful if you take a step back and look at the big picture.  Without the hard stuff there wouldn't be bliss.  If I didn't do chair pose I wouldn't have the leg strength to ground myself in back bends.  If we didn't curve a little we'd all be staring out at the world sideways.

Wouldn't that be silly?